The only thing worse than a poet is a young poet. The only thing worse than a young poet is a heartbroken young poet. The only worst than a heartbroken young poet is a young poet in love.
iPhone never autocorrects to curse word. Is it not paying flushing attention?
Oregano is the most overrated and egoistic spice; rosemary is the least.
Pay attention to things that deserve it.
Starbucks is really terrible—till there’s not one around.
If you’re going to clip your nails over the toilet, you should probably make sure it was recently flushed.
Even if I just ate, there’s a pretty good chance, I could finish a whole pizza by myself as a snack.
Vegetable crispers evidently do keep vegetables crisper longer. It’s nice to know that all of Western Civilization has not been a bust.