Little Revelations

There are two types of people in the world: people who attempt to fold the fitted sheet and people who are not lunatics.

Salads, which are rarely worth the trouble, only taste good when other people put them together.

Whomever did the titles for Silence of the Lambs should not have.

Breathing is not acting.

To the extent that Pine-Sol smells good, it’s only because I have come to equate it with something being clean.

It is impossible to add cheese to any recipe while cooking and not also taking a bite.

Nothing illustrates how much humankind is at odds with nature more than our dislike of pulp in our orange juice.

Sexy is a lot about context.

I’m glad we’re past the time—or at least I think we are—where just adding a rap component to something made it cool.

Every day Chuck Todd wakes up, looks in the mirror, and doesn’t know that he’s a douche.

When you are really drunk, coffee, even black coffee, does not help with anything, so stop with that.

Sitting on the toilet is a kind of prayer.

The names of many colors are redundant. Do we always need “green” after “emerald,” “yellow” after “mustard,” “red” after “ruby.” Let’s set up a meeting on this.